WARNING! SPOILERS CONTAINED WITHIN WARNING!
Once upon a time there was this assassin, Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson), who was invited by this Russian dictator, Vladislav Dukhovich (Gary Oldman . . . Jesus, that guy is great at playing scumbag villains) to his digs in Russia and asked if he’d kill someone for him. Kincaid eventually turned down the offer because that same day Dukhovich wiped out an entire village. Wow, this hitman has got some kind of rudimentary moral compass?! At some point Kincaid acquired photos of Dukhovich murdering these people and hid them away. Many years later he gets caught and thrown into prison. Dukhovich is eventually brought to trial, but he’s been brought to trial before and all the witnesses that could irrefutably nail him at the scene of his crimes all end up getting dead before they can testify. Well, looks like they’re going to try it yet again, this time getting wind that Kincaid has irrefutable evidence of one of these “genocidal weekend jaunts” Dukhovich likes to take, and wants to cut a deal. No way are they going to release Kincaid, he’s a professional assassin sentenced for life, but they will release his wife, Sonia (Salma Hayek), from the Dutch prison she’s currently in, so he takes the deal. Now, all they have to do is get Kincaid from his cell to an Amsterdam courthouse without ending up dead like the others. This should be interesting.
Two years before above mentioned events bodyguard, Micheal Bryce, was having a pretty good day on the job escorting a Japanese arms dealer to his plane. Bryce kind of reminded me of “The Transporter” just with a lot more help from fellow agents, and with jobs that don’t normally go sideways all the time. Anyhow, once this arms dealer had boarded his plane and Bryce was waving ‘bye a bullet shatters the window he was looking out and his brains suddenly saw the light of day. That kind of fuck-up quickly shoved Bryce off the top of his favorite totem pole. Nowadays, he kind of is like The Transporter (2002), taking any job he can get, like getting this coke-sniffing corporate executive (Richard E. Grant) out of London, while taking out the bad guys. His life may suck, but he’s damn good at keeping his clients alive, not counting the dude snuffed out on his private jet, I mean; apparently, that’s the only client he ever failed to keep alive according to the events of this movie.
Now, let’s hop back to that day Interpol is moving Kincaid in this armored vehicle with a so-called professional team of agents ready to deal with anything that comes their way. Yeah, not so much, I have to say. The armored truck is ambushed; the agents are killed, except for Amelia Roussel (Élodie Yung), and Kincaid, who seems to be blessed, or something. Sonia claims he’s unkillable and, well, during the course of the movie, he manages to prove to everyone he’s indeed pretty unkillable. Not that he’s superhuman or anything, he’s just real fuckin’ good at hand-to-hand combat and gunplay, with any gun. I will say this movie has some seriously cool action scenes peppered throughout the flick as well as some fun car chases. The kind of hand-to-hand stuff I’m talking about is from the likes of any Jason Bourne film. Ever since that movie hit the scene it seems every other major action flick has all their fisticuff scenes looking like they were taken from a Bourne movie, not that I’m complaining here. I’ve seen them Bourne movies and the hand-to-hand combat is quick, precise and brutal, ergo the fight scenes in Hitman’s Bodyguard are very impressive.
Where was I? Oh, right, Kincaid and Agent Roussel make it out of the ambush and she takes him to a safe house, but she’s not fully equipped to keep him alive. There’s a mole in Interpol that set them up. She needs to go find the mole, but who does she know that’s good at keeping people alive? Hmmm, let me see, his name is on the tip of my tongue, oh, right, Bryce! And she just so happens to have his number because she and Bryce were a couple before he fucked it up by blaming her for the execution of that arms dealer, which she had nothing to do with. In fact, you’ll find out later Darius killed him, and Bryce never knew it. That’ll be a moment of contention between them.
So, when Darius and Bryce meet, they instantly try and kill each other. They’ve had run-ins in the past. The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a combination comedy, romance, buddy action film. The trailer made it look more comedic than it actually is, but in fairness its funny when it wants to be. The action, as I’ve already mentioned, is impressive, and I mainly wanted to review this because of two things: the red-band trailer looked hilarious and I’m a fan of Sam Jackson and haven’t seen him do a hardcore action movie in a long time. I‘ve never been a Ryan Reynolds fan, but I will admit his Deadpool character fits him well. Ryan’s character is the straight laced by-the-book type, and Jackson is the opposite. They swear like truck drivers too, which is always fun in any movie, I think. Initially I wasn’t all that wowed by this movie, though I started liking it in the final act when Kincaid and Bryce started to find common ground and become friends, sort of. There’s a weird feel-goodness vibe in this movie, despite all the brutal killing and occasional torture (Bryce gets water-boarded and electrocuted). I know that’s weird to say, I don’t think I’ve encountered a “violent feel-good movie” before. Bottom line, though, I didn’t hate the movie, but also didn’t feel it was anything to write home about, but there’s this weird thing I’ve encountered with some movies in the past couple of years, movies that I either didn’t like or were indifferent too. Some of these flicks had extras, like a commentary, and after I got done going through the extras I ended up liking the movie a little more, just based solely on the extras. That happened again with this flick. Though I do wish Jackson and Reynolds had done a commentary. So, it looks like I’m sort of recommending this movie based on that “weird feel-goodness vibe” and the extras.
Video/Audio/Subtitles (Blu-ray): 1080p 2.39:1 high definition widescreen—English Dolby Atmos, 7.1 English Dolby TrueHD 7.1, 2.0 English Dolby Digital—English SDH, Spanish
Extras included . . .
- Director’s Commentary With Patrick Hughes.
- Outtakes (5:23)
- Deleted Scenes (4 scenes/5:01)
- Extended Scenes (4 scenes/3:21)
- Alternate Scenes (2 scenes/3:24)
- The Hitman’s Bodyguard: A Love Story (8:56)
- Hitman vs. Bodyguard (4:23)
- Dangerous Women (8:22)
- Big Action In A Big World (7:53)
Note: Most of the above listed extras are on the blu-ray only. The DVD only comes with the commentary and the Big Action In A Big World featurette.