Gingerclown (2013) DVD

10616437_10152543537428212_4040908393584190371_nI know there isn’t a filmmaker in existence that wanted to deliberately go off and make a shit movie. It’s not like someone got together with their crew and said, ‘hey, guys, I got a terrific idea for a shit movie; with shit dialogue and a shit plot. Let’s do this!’ Regardless, Gingerclown is a shit movie, with shit dialogue and a shit plot, but it’s not without a few pros to offset this really, really, really, big shit of a con.

Okay, maybe, I lied in that last statement. Not about it being a shit movie, I’ll carve that in stone, if given the chance, I mean about the few pros offsetting it. Yes, there is a miniscule amount of pros but none of them will effectively eliminate the obvious fact that it’s a shit movie.

First off this flick states it’s 1983, then the camera pans down to a group of kids in their cars overlooking the Hollywood sign in California. My problem with this scene is that the cars are clearly 60s models and some of the kids even look dressed for that era. Anyhow, right from the start, right from the moment the drunk jock antagonist who’s the catalyst to getting our victims into the clutches of these evil clowns starts talking the “shit dialogue” assertion I made becomes painfully evident. This dude clearly does not know how to deliver a line in the fashion of a normal talking human being.

The main characters are so clichéd it hurts the brain. The asshole jock, the nerd, who shows us he’s a nerd because he wears “nerdy glasses” and is into comic books and the hot ex-girlfriend of the asshole jock, who’s blonde and acts like it.

There was potential here, the trailer even shows it, if this movie had been done right the tagline on the DVD cover would have been “The Funhouse Meets Killer Klowns From Outer Space!” which is what the trailer kind of alludes to, but what you get is the jock, the nerd and the jock’s ex-chick wondering around an abandoned amusement park that’s home to clown creatures that could be the distant horror cousins of that aforementioned Chiodo Brothers’ movie.

Which brings me to the pros I alluded to earlier. All the “killer clowns” are practical effects that range from creepy to badly executed. Okay, I guess I lied again, there was only one pro. The “spider woman clown” would fall into the badly executed department with only the head and one leg offering any kind of life, yet the design of the head itself could fall into the creepy department. I don’t know how it happened, but either Lionsgate or the filmmakers themselves managed to get some high profile names to do the voices of the clown creatures. I’m talking Lance Henriksen and Brad Dourif, whose voices are easily recognizable, and then Tim Curry, Michael Winslow and Sean Young whose voices seem to have some augmentation added to them to make them sinister.

I have to return to the bad dialogue for a moment. It also extends to the talk the nerd and the ex-jock chick do between themselves. I guess a better analogy for this movie would be aliens who knew nothing of mankind except through the two horror movies, The Funhouse (1981) and Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988), suddenly decided to make a movie of their own and give it to us as a gift. This theory could also apply to Troll 2 (1990) and the insanely awful creature feature, Grim (1995), now that I think about it.

It’s a short flick clocking in at an hour and thirteen minutes, so that should be deemed as another plus but I’ve seen enough shit movies to know the it doesn’t matter how short they are because the shittier they are the longer the runtime feels.

At any rate, for those who have a high enduracne threshold for shit movies you’ll be ahppy to know Lionsgate releases it on DVD only (with a digital copy) this coming November 11th.

Video/Audio/Subtitles: 2.35:1 widescreen—5.1 Dolby Digital—English, Spanish subtitles

For extras you get a five-minute “The Making Of Gingerclown” featurette.

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About Shawn Francis

Movie collector and horror writer.
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